domingo, 25 de noviembre de 2012
I have the need, the urgency to write in another language, because I need to be understood not only by my own people or the people that speaks Spanish, I need to be understood by anyone who knows about love and the things that come with it.
For starters, I fell in love with someone who was already in another relationship, wish was bad from me, but I couldn’t order my heart to follow my brains, so, it happened, they broke up because we got caught one day and since then we are trying (or I least I do) to get closer, but she still haves feelings for the other guy.
The thing is, that I’m in this place where I can try to walk away, but she doesn’t want me to go, and also I don’t want to go either, that’s the last thing that is going through my mind, and at the same time that she doesn’t want to lose me, she keeps saying that she wants to be with this other guy.
If I focus only in our relationship, it’s like travelling in a fast move from heaven to hell, and vice versa, constantly like that, she is this full of love girl of my dreams and then she can be the coldest of the creatures.
I adore her, I adore her face, I adore her entire existence, she knows that, and she knows that I know, and that only gets things more complicated.
As such as it is, today I opened my heart, totally exposed to her; I was waiting just for some comfort words, just some eco to my love, but instead I got nothing but silence, which is very confusing, because sometimes like already said, she is just love.
I have been there for her, in her darkest times, and I am pretty sure that I will be there next time she needs me, but… I don’t know why she can get up to being at least “nice”.
I end this day feeling full of love for her, I really mean it, maybe a tear drop traveled down my cheek, because I opened my heart, like already said, and I didn’t get any answer, maybe today I feel sad, but nothing changes anyway, I still love her the same and I will be waiting for her, because that’s the best thing I can do for now, I am not quitting, I won’t forfeit this fight, I don’t know how much I can handle, but she worth’s it, she totally does.
And I already love her anyway, so there is nothing I can do, but stay and think about her, only time will give me the reason, I will love her to until that day arrives, no matter how much pain I have t suffer, I will be waiting for her to be the mother of my child’s. I will keep my word, I believe in her... I believe in us.
Antonio Vivaldi, Four seasons... its a must hear, i need to say no more...